


Anything At All

by penstrikesmidnight



Series: DaiSuga Week 2019 [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, DaiSuga Week, Flash Fic, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 11:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21493450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penstrikesmidnight/pseuds/penstrikesmidnight
Summary: In the end, this is the reality.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Series: DaiSuga Week 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548610
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31





	Anything At All

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Haste/Wish
> 
> I wouldn't be me if I weren't writing some sort of angst. Enjoy!

These are the things that Suga loves most:

Feeling Daichi's hand brush his between meetings, the feel of rough parchment on the skin of his fingers, the thrill of adrenaline that shoots to every part of his body.

Hearing the soft _snick_ of the door as Daichi closes it softly behind him, the firmer _click_ as the lock slides into place, this room a sanctuary for the next hour where Daichi can shed his role of king, and Suga can pretend he belongs here.

The first moment of pleasure that shoots through his body when Daichi has slid into him, when his body remembers who knows it best, when he is trembling, chest to chest with his favorite person and their lips touch and they are as close as two people can be.

Afterward, when Daichi curls around his back, pants into his neck, and Suga feels so, so warm and loved and like nothing can come between them.

***

These are the things that Suga hates most:

Opening the note to see their illicit affair scrawled in Daichi's messy handwriting and watching it burn so no one knows what they are doing.

Being the first one to enter the room, undressing, waiting with baited breath to see if Daichi has had to cancel because as much as they like to pretend, Daichi will never completely lose the skin of being a king.

Daichi's fingers pressed against his hip hard to hold him in place as he pushes in with little preparation because they just never have enough time, Suga's head in buried in a pillow to muffle the sounds of pain and pleasure and rage at the unfairness of this situation. 

Afterward, when Daichi catches his breath and pulls away from him, leaving a cold imprint where Daichi's body used to lay.

***

In the end, this is reality:

Suga watches Daichi dress in the flickering of the fire from the fireplace. He has loved this man since they were young teens forced into meetings together; Daichi as the new young ruler and Suga, groomed to be the next king's advisor, from a family with some of the closest connections to the royal family.

"Maybe we should just stop this," Suga whispers as Daichi sits down to put on his boots. Suga remembers their first kiss in a tent in the mountains to the east on a hunting trip, the way Daichi's eyes widened with shock, and fear, and lust. He remembers when Daichi started arranging these meetings, because sharing a tent while hunting wasn't safe enough.

Daichi's hands tighten on the boot and he says, without looking at Suga, "If that is what you want. I only want to make you happy." Suga closes his eyes. Daichi always wants to make Suga happy, but in reality the only thing that would make Suga happy is being able to love Daichi without fear of repercussions. So he tells Daichi that this is the last time and Daichi nods. He still hasn't turned back around.

Afterward, when Suga passes Daichi in the hallway, he can hardly bear to look at him with all the unfair, unwanted secrets they share between them. But life will go on as normal. Because what they had was never really anything at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/kudos always welcome!
> 
> If you're interested, here's my [tumblr](https://twirlergirl1206.tumblr.com/)


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